So you’re not feeling the greatest. You’ve lost yourself, aren’t interested in doing what you’ve always liked to do, and you stopped loving yourself. You don’t even like yourself, which of course makes it hard to imagine how others would even like you in the first place. A friend of mine described her present state to me as such, and here’s my advice:
Come to Ecuador. Do something utterly life changing. Give a kid his only meal of the day at 6:30 pm and feel their love when they climb all over you and start one of countless tickle fights and laugh in the sweetest way possible. It fills you with so much life and so much heartbreak at the same time, while infusing you with such an incredible amount of confidence and a concept of the goodness of humanity (added to that which comes from just traveling, the myriad failures and eventual successes in the process, the random conversations with people you meet on the street who become your best friends if for just the beer you share at a nearby bar, and really just overall not dying). Basically, travel. I’m not even kidding. Money isn’t an issue if you really look at it. If you do it right, t’s a couple grand all summer, including flight…tops. Get set up with places in Guatemala teaching English, Spanish, and sustainability, Ecuador doing what I am, Africa to see everything is has to offer, both the horrific and marvelous, or Cambodia to combat human trafficking. And if you can’t do that (and I’m only accepting legitimate reasons for no) there are substitutes. Do the same thing at home, in your community. It’s less of a challenge and risk, but the outcome is just as righteous. Basically what I’m saying is: what I always found as the best way to feel better was make others feel better, and test yourself in the process. It will show you that people do love you, and that you should moreover love yourself. At least that’s how it’s been for me–how it is for me.
Also, read Peter Singer’s essay on Famine, Affluence, and Mortality –> http://philosophyfaculty.ucsd.edu/faculty/rarneson/Singeressayspring1972.pdf